vibing to music flips the switch from a depressed mood to a chill mood in no time its kind of amazing, just gotta find that song. how is it that i have over 190 cds and i dont know what to listen to? guess that just a sign i have too much or i need more im going with the latter cause i like that reason better lol.

so umm yeh i miss u i want to see u now but ive gotta wait 6 weeks and a day, never knew i could miss some one like this i only saw u a couple days ago, i sound like such i bitch, a times im wondering if i force myself to be in this relationsip and force myself to feel this way just to prove a point to myself, cause i know im not ready for a relationship thatll last i thought i was but when i really think about it i know i im not cause theres still things that are affecting me the same things that have always been keeping me from being in legit relationships, this is my first legit realationship and im thinking abnout it and i knows these issues are what is going to prevent it from really progressing guess this is why i dont think especially about my own issues, but i kinda evicted anyone that had me dealing with their issues and they were what were keeping me from focusing on my problems so now i only have my own to deal with guess its my time to work through them, idk if im ready for that though, i dont think i am but it doesent really seem like i have a choice in the matter. i thought i was done with all this guess i wasnt damn it this is not healthy for this relationship fuck i did so much to get this one girl, i have a feeling im gonna fuck it up while im working my way through this, and i know shes gonna try to fight to keep me but you shouldent do that not this time, i just hope u find it in you to give me a third chance after i work through all this.

have you ever gotten that feeling that you want to do something different but you dont know what it is last time i did i got a piercing i dont remember what i did the time before that, but usually id change girls cause usually shed be the boring part of my life that needs the change thats not the case this time i dont want to do that and i dont think i could even if i wanted to with this one. this ones like tyson when hes losing a boxing match shed bite off and ear before she admitted defeat, shes a pain in the ass like that she wont let me get rid of her but i love her for that.

so yeh its snowed everyday here this week yesterday it snowed all day its was ridiculous atleast its not alota snow at once though its only like 1-2 inches although it really doesent affect me how much it snows ill be going to class anyway. snow has lost that zest that it had when i was younger now its just a pain in the ass. people are like "oh its pretty" im like its white? thats so much prettier? if it was a bunch of white people covering the landscape dont think youd be saying that.

what moron crashes his plain into a random irs buiding in texas? oh wait hes from texas that explain so much. but seriously you have a plain and a house to burn down how serous could ur problems witht the irs be like if they havent taken those yet your in pretty freaking good shape. add that to the list of reason i can live in texas. there really arent that many places i could live honestly.

im having far less patience for people who irritate me, what used to irritate me mildly so that i could ignore them they are to the point that i have to leave or ill do bodily harm to the person seriously its that bad. idk whatever they just need to stay outa may way.

p.s i miss u